tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC November 9, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EST
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dustry-changing fabric technology like this. copper cotton compression. i never really thought i'd ever feel this way about my underwear, but i do. [ male announcer ] buy 2 items, and get a 3rd free at tommiecopper.com. they're reducing speed. match their velocity, chief. they used the same coordinates for the last rendezvous. any sign of another ship? not yet, but our sensors are extremely limited in the plasma fields. looks like a holding pattern to me, sir. either the maquis are late or the xhosa's early. either way, we wait with them. can't you do something about these lapels? such as? i don't know. i'm not a tailor. just make them look good. i thought you wanted me to make them look bad. i wish you'd said that before. it's much simpler when the customer explains what he wants.
i don't need another waiter. now, i want more room in the shoulders and these cuffs are completely unacceptable. garak, can i talk to you? garak: of course, major. excuse me. sure. now, what can i do for you, maj..? listen closely. i don't know what kind of sick game it is you're playing with ziyal but it better stop right now. i can assure you... i don't want to hear any of your lies. girl is here under my protection and i swear, if you do anything to hurt her i will make you regret it. is that clear? asabalian glass. good. you told her. the pants are about a meter too long.
and how do you know about that? you're a man, she's a woman, it's a date. and they are my holosuites, after all. i was going to cancel. i'd had visions of ziyal presenting my head to her father as a birthday gift. that's a little paranoid, wouldn't you say? paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. i have threats against my life. i feel much better. you do? isn't it obvious? if ziyal planned to kill me kira would not be trying to warn me away. on the contrary the good major would also welcome my untimely demise and do nothing to interfere. unless that's part of the plan. what do you mean? oh, you know, kira acts like she doesn't want you to go so you'll feel everything's okay
no. it's too complicated. of course. now they're too short. what? the pants. oh. this is wrong. terrorists don't work this way. if your contact doesn't show up for a rendezvous, you leave. you don't stay in the badlands going in circles for five hours. perhaps. but it is also possible that her cargo is so valuable to the maquis, that she will wait as long as it takes to make the delivery. i think she's already made her delivery. and you were the cargo. think about it-- if anyone but kasidy yates
you're saying someone wanted me here? why? i'm not sure. but we won't find the answers staring at the viewscreen. you're right. the answers are over there. let's go. mr. worf, you have the bridge. still nothing. all right, let's send a coded message... ( alarm sounds ) tachyon surge. a ship's decloaking. oh, my god. ben, what are you doing here? we've... don't say it! i know you're a smuggler and have been working with the maquis and right now i don't care. but i need to know what your orders were.
so the maquis could attack the station? jake's back there. i can't believe you would put him in danger. i was supposed to meet a maquis ship at these coordinates. i don't know anything about an attack on the station. and i doubt the maquis would try. i didn't know you were following me but after our last talk i suspected that you might be out there. if that's true, why didn't you abort the mission? i was told that these medical supplies were urgently needed. to be here no matter what. i tried to tell them that i'd made too many runs that i was just asking to get caught but they wouldn't listen. they knew you were going to be caught. that's why they didn't send a maquis ship out here to meet you. everything's been building to this. they needed to draw me away from the station. why? if they aren't planning an attack
happening on the station? i've received new orders from starfleet command. the c.f.i. replicators in cargo bay 17 are to be transferred aboard a vulcan freighter which should arrive at any moment. this operation is to be carried out in complete secrecy. no one aboard the station is to know about it. does that include the bajoran security detachment? absolutely. also, we're observing communications silence. no com traffic in or out of this station for the next nine hours. understood? d. you wanted to see me? yes, major. i'm afraid i need to take command of the station
get us back to the station, chief. maximum warp. aye, sir. any response from our hails, commander? no. deep space nine seems to be under a communications blackout. keep trying. you realize we'll probably never see the xhosa or captain yates again. it's a possibility. if i'd been allowed to leave a security detail behind... our priority is to get back to the station. captain yates is my responsibility
as you wish. the replicators have been secured in the ship's hold, sir. very good. we'll be departing in five minutes and i'm leaving you in command until captain sisko returns. me, sir? you have a problem with that, lieutenant? no, sir. it's just that's it's unusual for a junior officer to be left... if you're not up to the job, i'll find someone else. the safety of this station may depend on you and i need to know if you can handle it. you can count on me, commander. good. now go to ops and take command.
the defiant has returned to the station but it seems that commander is still one step ahead of us. all federation starships near the badlands have been alerted to look for the vulcan freighter. i doubt they'll find it. eddington anticipated every contingency. he had his escape route well planned. what will we tell the cardassians? the truth-- he fooled me, and he got away with it. he fooled all of us. everything that happens on this station is my responsibility, major. in. it's from commander eddington. put it through, in my office. captain. mr. eddington, i have just one question. why? will knowing my personal motivation change anything at this point? no, i don't suppose it will. then let's table that for now. the only reason i've contacted you
is with the cardassians not the federation. leave us alone, and i can promise you you'll never hear from the maquis again. unless you see another shipment you want to hijack. you keep sending replicators to cardassia, and you're going to have a lot more to worry about than hijackings. i don't respond well to threats. i thought you would know that by now but i'm beginning to see that you don't know me at all. i know you. i was like you once, but then i opened my eyes. open your eyes, captain. d with the maquis? we've never harmed you, and yet we're constantly arrested and charged with terrorism. starships chase us through the badlands and our supporters are harassed and ridiculed. why? because we've left the federation and that's the one thing you can't accept. nobody leaves paradise. everyone should want to be in the federation. hell, you even want the cardassians to join. you're only sending them replicators
on the federation council. you know, in some ways, you're even worse than the borg. at least they tellou about their plans for assimilation. you're more insidious. you assimilate people, and they don't even know it. you know what, mr. eddington? i don't give a damn what you think of the federation, the maquis or anything else. all i know is that you betraye your oath, your duty and me. i will see you standing before a court-martial that will break you and send you to a penal colony where you will spend the rest of your days growing old and wondering whether a ship full of replicators was really worth it. ( snorts ) garak?
t it feel good? the station can be so chilly sometimes. yes. it's quite pleasant. aren't you going to lie down? uh, not just yet. i have a question i'd like answered first. uh, why am i here? excuse me? why am i here? am i to believe that you've invited the sworn enemy of your father simply to enjoy the heat? d you here to kill you. well, it did occur to me. kira and my father both told me that you used to be an agent of the obsidian order that you had my grandfather tortured and killed, and that you could easily kill me without a second thought. although i seldom credit the major or your father with being entirely trustworthy
you know what else is true? i don't care. i'm half-bajoran, and that means i'm an outcast back home. i can't go back and neither can you. so, we can either share some time together or we can ignore each other. i spent five years in a prisoner of war camp by myself. i don't need your company but if you'd like to stay and share the heat with me thing about home that i don't know then i would welcome your company and i get the feeling you would welcome mine. either way, it's up to you.
and i think we both know that's why you left us alone out there. to see if i would. i'm not going to stand here and apologize for what i did. you had your duty. i had mine. i still have my duty. i know. and i know i'll probably go to prison but i came back because of us. because despite all that's happened i still love you, ben. i don't want to throw that away. do you?
full impact. final round: janeway. winner: janeway. good game. oh, come on, seven. you won four out of ten rounds. nothing to be ashamed of. on the contrary. i have superior visual acuity and stamina. i should've won every round. "velocity" is more than a test of stamina. it's a game of wits. you are a frustrating opponent. during the final round after you dropped your phaser you did not even look at the disk and yet you were able to acquire the target. intuition. intuition is a human fallacy-- the belief you can predict random events.
i was aware of several factors: the trajectory of the disk after i hit the wall the sound it made on its return and the shadow it cast on the holo-grid. intriguing, but implausible. i won, didn't i? thanks for the match. i wish to play again. not today. you are fatigued and concerned that i will defeat you. tired, yes; concerned, no. computer, begin first round. belay that command. .
the encoded message from the alpha quadrant. we know that the transmission was from starfleet command but we still can't decrypt it. b'elanna thinks it's a lost cause that too much of the data stream has been destroyed, but i haven't given up. i keep hoping inspiration will strike... somehow. ( sighs ) good morning. what time is it? oh! well, then good morning. i just heard from tom and neelix. they're about to leave any luck? the trading colony. tom says the shuttle's so loaded down with supplies he won't make half impulse. neelix is asking permission to bring one of the locals on board. he's been very helpful, and neelix wants to repay him by giving him passage to the next system. permission granted. you might want to grab some sleep. we've got a big day ahead. i will in a while. still hunting for buried treasure.
i just can't pick the lock. i've tried over 50 decryption algorithms. every time i piece together a data block ten more come unraveled. what did starfleet send us? a map? the location of a wormhole? if i could decode this today, chakotay we could be home tomorrow. then again, it could be admiral chapman's recipe for the perfect pound cake. i've been pinning our hopes on this message but i'm starting to wonder. one way or another, we've got to find out. i'll talk to b'elanna. you could enlist seven of nine. hmm... she should have a few borg algorithms up her sleeve... if she's in the mood. problems? i don't know if she's restless or if it's just me but we're butting heads more than usual lately. she seems to challenge everything i say. she's learned a lot from you over the last year. maybe the pupil thinks she's outgrowing the mentor. maybe.
will you join me? i'd love to. this goes to engineering... sick bay... storage. i hope that's not going to the mess hall. i don't remember what this is. neelix! captain, he's a genius. i was trying to negotiate with a xenon-based life-form when the universal translator went off-line. arturis here stepped in and acted as a perfect go-between and he'd never heard either of our languages. oh, they were simple. no insult intended. paris: neelix! on my way. if you two will excuse me. well, welcome to voyager. we may be a linguistically simple folk but we're happy to give you a ride. let's see if we can find you some quarters. neelix was right: voyager is a welcoming place. well, we do our best. i can't say i've ever met
ages. i, myself, know over 4,000. and to think i still struggle with basic klingon. you couldn't have heard neelix say more than a few phrases. it was all i needed. it was enough to grasp the grammar and syntax. impressive. oh, not really. it's a natural ability. some species are born with great physical prowess others, like yours, with a generosity of spirit. my people can see patterns where others see only confusion. is something wrong? no. tell me... how are you at computational languages? algorithms? trinary syntax? it's all the same to me. i was wondering if you might do us another favor. arturis: you weren't exaggerating, captain. this data stream is badly damaged. i'd like to see the entire transmission again.
you're much more attractive than the average drone. i am no longer part of the collective. ah! i see, i see. i think i see the problem. well, may i? please. have you encountered his people before? species 1-1-6. is that what you call us? yes. the borg has never been able to assimilate them. seven... not yet. oh, it's all right, captain. the borg collective is like a force of nature. zon. you just avoid it. ah. here it is. it's a simple matter of extracting the iconometric elements and triaxilating a recursion matrix. now, why didn't i think of that? there's a great deal of information here, captain. i think it might be useful
you've done it. almost. i've reconstructed over 68 kiloquads of information but a lot of it is still garbled. what about that data block? 14 beta? that part of the message is too degraded to recover. captain, i've found a spatial grid. janeway: they've marked a set of coordinates. maybe starfleet wants us to proceed to that location. maybe. there's only one way to find out. we're approaching the coordinates. take us out of warp, scan the vicinity. i am picking up a vessel. janeway: on screen.
the warp signature is starfleet. you okay? i just wish we didn't have to sell mom's piano. i know how hard she and dad worked to save for it. i know she wanted to keep it in the family. i know, but we need to pay for her funeral, the medical bills ... without life insurance to help, i don't see any other way. i'm worried i'll leave my kids in the same position. why? don't you have life insurance?
besides, i don't think i could even get covered with my recent health. you know, massmutual has a new policy called guaranteed acceptance life insurance. steve and i got covered, and it was affordable. i don't want to go through a long application process just to get turned down. it's one phone call, and you're guaranteed to be accepted. massmutual helped us through the whole thing. i know there's nothing we can do about the situation we're in. but this is definitely something you can do to tect your family. if you're age 50-75, it's easier than ever to get reliable coverage at an affordable price. call massmutual today for guaranteed acceptance life insurance. with no medical questions or exams, you cannot be turned down. with one phone call, you can get coverage ranging from $2,000 - $25,000, and premiums can start at less than $10 per month. guaranteed acceptance life insurance can help your loved ones cover expenses such as funeral costs,
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of course. take an away team. secure the vessel. tom, tuvok. captain, i won't pretend to know you well but i am surprised you're not more... encouraged by this discovery. ( sighing ) i've learned to walk the line between hope and caution. we've had other opportunities that didn't work out but i will admit, i'm leaning toward hope this time. wow.
this kind of hull geometry. looks like they're taking a whole new approach to starship design. tuvok: the u.s.s. dauntless. registry: nx zero one-a. launch date: 51472. 60,000 light years in three months. i'm trying to access the crew logs but there are none. i don't think there was a crew. this helm was set for auto-navigation to these coordinates. it appears that starfleet has provided us with a new ship. let's not pack our bags just yet. w they... ( low rumble ) i'm reading power fluctuations in the warp core-- if you can call it a warp core. i don't recognize this engine configuration. let's go take a look.
some kind of new warp drive? it's not antimatter. it's... i don't know what it is. they call this thing a "quantum slipstream drive." quantum slipstream? i've never seen that in the engineering manuals. ship's powering up. auto-navigation is kicking in. bridge to janeway. the vessel's moving away at high impulse. i can't raise the away team. pursuit course, ensign. i can't shut down the drive!
unable to comply. hang on! bridge to janeway. they're gone. look at this. energy from the quantum drive is being routed through the main deflector. is that what's creating the slipstream? it looks that way. can you make it stop? i'll try accessing helm controls. we're back in normal space. scan for voyager. no sign of them. commander...
captain's log, supplemental: after two days at high warp we've rendezvoused with the dauntless. arturis has helped us reconstruct most of the starfleet message. the pieces of this puzzle are finally coming together. slipstream technology is experimental and high risk but it's come a long way in the past year. we have conducted 47 trial runs, all of them successful but each flight lasted only five days. in order to reach earth you'd have to remain at slipstream velocity for a full three months. we believe they can, and we encourage you to try. everything you'll need is on the dauntless-- power cells, supplies living quarters. safe journey. we hope to see you soon. admiral hayes. good man. fine officer. bit of a windbag. ( chuckling )
i've examined the away team for signs of cell damage or physiological stress-- nothing. that little joyride didn't harm them in the slightest. long-term effects? i'm running the medical projections right now. so far, the results are encouraging. and the dauntless itself? i'd say it's in pretty good shape, considering. i've been looking over the primary systems: helm, ops, tactical. they're comparable to voyager's, but it's a lean ship. no shuttlecraft, only one transporter no holodecks, no replicators... well, mr. neelix, you may have your work cut out. ready and willing, captain. so, what are we waiting for? your enthusiasm is premature. voyager is a proven vessel. it would be reckless to abandon it so quickly. where's that borg spirit? we'll adapt. my borg spirit gives me an objectivity you lack. she has a point. this would mean leaving voyager behind. could we modify voyager to create a slipstream? in theory, but i don't think the ship would hold up very long under the quantum stresses.
ong for the ride i'm all for it. harry, b'elanna, i want you to take an engineering team down to the dauntless. start working on a way to shut down the slipstream drive at a moment's notice. aye, captain. once we have that safeguard in place we'll start making the test flights. i want this entire crew to familiarize themselves with that ship. see to it. dismissed. tuvok... big day. indeed. we've been waiting for this moment for years. why don't i feel more enthusiastic? perhaps my mental discipline is rubbing off on you. perhaps. what do you think about this little miracle of ours? i share your concern about the crew's safety. we must take every precaution. somehow, i don't think standard diagnostics and security protocols are going to make me feel any better.
the alien genius with the answers to all of our problems the message from starfleet telling us everything we want to hear a starship delivered to our doorstep-- what more could we ask for? they even turned down the beds. the only thing missing was chocolates on the pillows. it does seem convenient. ( sighing ) i can't put my finger on it but from the moment this all started i sensed something was wrong. it started when arturis boarded voyager. exactly. we'll proceed as planned but i want you to investigate that ship from stem to stern and keep an eye on our guest. see if you can find out more about him. understood. let's hope we're just suffering from some good old-fashioned paranoia.
hey, man you okay? yeah, just a little shook up. this car...for a second, i thought it could be sue's. same make, model, same color, same year even. i see what you mean. i've been thinking about it all morning... us? what would our family do? don't you have life insurance? no-we keep putting it off. just not sure we can afford it. well, i make the same as you, and i have a policy- you know, just something to help cover expenses. is it legit? it's from massmutual. yeah, i've heard of them they've been around a long time. and so will you-but you'll feel better knowing you are taking care of things. look, at lunch today, if you like,
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captain's log, supplemental: so far, the crew hasn't found any evidence to support my doubts about arturis. nevertheless, i've told them to keep looking and to keep their optimism in check, but that's one order i don't expect them to follow to the letter. i've analyzed the quantum slipstream technology of the dauntless. it's similar to the transwarp drive used by the borg. as a result, my expertise will be crucial to the mission's success. voyager's crew is counting on that success but i find myself ambivalent so i am executing my assignment, nothing more. janeway: despite my apprehension, i can't help but wonder what i'll be doing in three months' time-- still guiding voyager through the delta quadrant
seven: if we do return to sector 001 will i adapt to human civilization a single borg among billions of individuals? initiate emergency shutdown on my mark. now. quantum field strength down to 90 percent. it's leveling off at 75. we need to dampen the field by at least 50 percent. try reversing the quantum field polarities. 70 percent. 55... 49 percent. we did it. we've got our safety net. one step closer to home.
thank you. you two run the analysis. i'll be on the bridge with arturis. our resident genius said he'd help me figure out how to use the control sequencers. lieutenant, you seem eager to return to earth. "eager." i wouldn't go that far. you were a member of the maquis. starfleet command will no doubt hold you responsible for a multitude of crimes. well, that's looking on the bright side. let's put it this way: i'd rather face the music at home then spend the rest of my life in the delta quadrant. what about you? looking forward to seeing earth? no. i'm not surprised. you think people are going to resent an ex-maquis? what about an ex-drone?
it's a joke. work on that sense of humor. it'll help you make friends on earth. kim: seven, can you give me a hand? i'm picking up an anomalous energy surge. there are no power conduits running through this section. believe me, seven one look at that big, blue marble and you'll fall in love. it's got just about every ecosystem you can think of and hundreds of different humanoid species live there: vulcans, bolians, ktarians... if you like ktarians. and there are several other planets to choose from. if you will excuse me, ensign
( sighs ) computer, display data block 14-beta, auxiliary display. seven, i could use your help. i'm trying to reconstruct the last fragment of the starfleet message. arturis said it was irreparably damaged. i know, but i think he gave up too easily. intuition. it's intuition if i'm right. i've designed a new decryption algorithm. let's give it a try. captain i will not be going with you to the alpha quadrant. i can understand your reluctance. it's been hard enough dealing with a crew of 150 individual humans.
i am not overwhelmed. i simply do not wish to live among humans. well, whether you like it or not, you're one of us. you've come a long way from that drone who stepped out of a borg alcove nine months ago. don't turn your back on humanity now not when you're about to take your biggest step-- earth your home. i may have come a long way but not in the direction you think. you exposed me to your culture, your ideals. you hoped to shape me in your own image but you have failed. you may have noticed our tendency to disagree. oh, i've noticed. you must also recognize i do not share your values. your desire to explore space is inefficient. your need for familial connections is a weakness. your infatuation with this planet is irrational.
and that we often have conflicting points of view but right now, the stakes are higher. this crew needs your expertise. abandon them and you diminish their chances of getting home. irrelevant. no, it's not. we've given you a lot, seven. it's time you gave something in return. i have... on many occasions. now i refuse. what would you do, go back to the collective? i don't know. then what do you have in mind? that's my point. i don't know. you're asking me to cast you adrift in the delta quadrant alone and without support. i wouldn't grant that request to any member of this crew because it's too dangerous. i will survive. on what, borg perfection? precisely.
this isn't about your independence your superiority. this is about your fear. you're not making this choice because you've outgrown humanity. ( whispers ): i think you're afraid to go back to earth. ( console beeping ) the algorithm's working. it's reconstructing the data block. that's strange. i thought we already recovered this part of the message. perhaps it is an addendum from the admiral. you did designate him a windbag. oh, i don't think so. the data index doesn't match.
we've had our best people working around the clock trying to find a wormhole a new means of propulsion-- anything to get you back home but despite our best efforts... i know it's not what you were hoping, but we have sent you all the data we've collected on the delta quadrant. with any luck, you'll find at least some part of it useful maybe enough to shave a few years off your trip. we hope to see you soon. your intuition was correct. unfortunately. arturis must have created a false message. it sure as hell looks that way. janeway to tuvok. yes, captain. my suspicions have been confirmed.
but it was a shock. i never saw it coming. i know. i can't believe they would let you go, after 20 years. things are starting to sink in. i realize i've got decisions to make. like how to replace the life insurance i had through work. life insurance? i'd think you'd have other priorities. my priority is making sure you don't get stuck with a lot expenses if something happens to me. mom, there's no reason to think anything is going to happen. think i'd lose my job. no one likes to think about it, but you have to be ready for it. you're right. can i help? actually, i found a massmutual policy that's affordable let me show you... if you're age 50 to 75, there's an easy, affordable way to get life insurance. it's called guaranteed acceptance life insurance, from massmutual. it can help cover final expenses, such as funeral costs, medical bills, and other debts.
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